There are times when we find ourselves in work or social situations where we don’t know everyone we’re with — a business networking event, a friend’s wedding, a holiday event. For many, these are perfect events to catch up, rekindle friendships or exchange information. Attending with a colleague or friend can make interacting a little more comfortable and easy, but what happens if you’re left to fend for yourself?
Social anxiety is not uncommon. Meeting someone for the first time can be uncomfortable or maybe even a little awkward. Your hands sweat. Your heart beats a little faster and all you want to do is escape.
The best way to face the situation — and no, it’s not turning around and leaving — is to start a conversation.
What do you say? How do you start and how do you keep the words flowing? Here are a few ideas.
Start with a compliment. A little recognition or expression of praise can set the tone for a friendly relaxed conversation. Compliment the person you’re talking with or perhaps the venue or the endless choices on the buffet. Be sure to pick a topic that will lead to follow-up questions.
Ask about family. People like to talk about themselves. It’s human nature. Ask about their children or grandchildren and watch the smiles light up their face. Conversations in these areas carry themselves and open the door to two-way sharing.
Find common ground. Chances are you’re at the same event for a similar reason or maybe a totally different one! Ask about the host or business your new acquaintance is part of. For example, “What brings you here?”, “How do you know the groom? or “How long have you been a member here?” can get you started.
Introduce yourself. Why not? Be bold and introduce yourself by name. If you’re at a business function, mention the company you work with or the department you’re in. Be sure to ask the same of your new contact and show interest in their experiences.
Ask a question. I like questions. There are all kinds of probing questions that can lead to a healthy conversation. “I love your shoes. Where did you buy them?” If you’re from out of town, ask about local entertainment or good places to eat.
Engage with the topics you enjoy. Don’t be afraid to jump into a conversation that interests you. It’s always easier to talk about the things you enjoy and ones that you’re well-versed in. It’s also a great way to make a lasting connection.
Starting a conversation can be uncomfortable, but keep in mind, you’re likely not the only one in the room who feels this way.
People are generally pretty friendly. So what are you waiting for? Strike up a conversation!
According to Anxiety Canada, social anxiety disorder is one of the most common anxiety disorders in Canada. Between 8 and 13 per cent of Canadians will experience social anxiety disorder in their lifetime.
Writing for you. 